Overheard Starbuck

"I'm at the gas station filling up the old SUV and in drives these Mid-Eastern-looking guys with two large plastic gas containers. One guy fills them and the other guy pays, their car apparently didn't need gas, and right after they left--I swear--no more than ten minutes after they pulled in, two cop-cars with flashing lights have their car wedged in less then a quarter-mile away. Someone at the station must've called. I look at the good-ole boys hanging around and the Saturday afternoon errand-runners, thinking it's some kind of joke but nobody is shaking their head in disbelief or smiling in embarrassment. A few are too busy to notice but everybody else either gawking or kibitzing are as serious as death."
---"Serves them right?"
"More like 'the system works'."

---"We should thank Jesus our great-great-grandmothers were raped by the conquerers from the north and not the Turks from the south."
"I think a mountain range had something to do with it."
---"Breeding will tell."

"Have you ever held an infant? It's like holding the promise of life itself--pure human potential. Little Buddha's everyone."
---"You should talk to my sister, she has a three-year-old and twin boys not yet toddlers."
"I don't want to own one. I just want to hold one ever so often."
---"As a reminder of 'the better angels of our nature'."
"Huh?"
---"I think there's a 'Hold-a-Baby' franchise in the tri-county area. I heard their sessions start at $60., depending on the kid's age and race. There's a waiting list for their blond babies."

"Don't mistake his stillness his air of reserve for wisdom or depth of personality..."
---"He's like a movie star in close-up, rock solid."
"...he's heavily medicated."
---"He's so distinguished."
"Don't let him drink. .. And don't ever mention 'Niagara Falls'. "

"How could you've known the left manufactured 'enemies of the state' for the secret agencies of the right? That for generations thousands of innocent individuals and families were routinely framed: their homes and jobs lost, their freedom, health and lives destroyed."
---"I'm so stupid."
"There was no way to know how greedily the right would demand these sacrificial victims. It hasn't stopped. --It's still a secret."
---"A secret recipe. ...I wonder if America's Christian Extremists' support of everything military is equivalent to how the left pays for its leaders' breathing room but on a much larger scale?"
(laughs) "The military is more of a pyramid scheme, then a slave market, but that's the Mel we want to hear more from: those crazy extrapolations."
---"We?"
"Did I say we?"

"While watching tv the other night it dawned on me, 'I'm not an American anymore'."
---"What are you then?"
"I don't know! I just know I can't afford to live like most Americans want to live and I don't want to."
---"TV will do that to you."
"Yeah, who doesn't hate all those smiling people selling things, selling themselves-- but it's more then that. You've ever been around people speaking in a language you don't understand? Sometimes you feel you're getting the gist of the conversation, picking up a word, a name, here and there; maybe even laughing or frowning a few times right along with everyone else, but inevitably, depending upon how much you drank, you realize you don't have a clue what anyone's talking about?"
---"I hate being odd-man-out. I carry a miniature bible for occasions like that."
"The thing is Americans are talking and I should understand, but I don't and what's weird I probably haven't been able to follow their conversations for years."
---"Something like that happened to my Grandma the same time she broke her hip."
"Stranger still I don't care what everyone's jabbering over. I'm sure they're saying nothing I need to hear. ... But the thing is: I don't know anywhere else. I've never lived more then ten miles from where I was born. I'm too white for Mexico and not white enough for Canada. And Enid doesn't want to move, even if we could without maxing out our credit cards and hitting up our parents for loans."
---"'Exiles on Main Street?' ... If you were homeless you wouldn't have this problem."

...

"Maybe the homeless are America's refugees but without status. Refugees who haven't fulfilled the minimum requirements set by the UN and NGOs of stepping across a border then rounded up by government agencies into camps."
---"How can you say that? Refugees are forced en masse from their homes at gunpoint, fleeing genocide, wars, drought and famine. America's homeless are mostly individuals or families who choose to run from creditors, their families, gangs or the law."
"So the difference is in the numbers?"
---"Forget it. You're making me angry."

"We'll show you who to hate.
... We can make it worth your while."

"The people I was trained to see are now protected by Homeland Security."
---"When you talk in rhyme, I get nervous."
"...The ones that cause most misery."
---"You did enough. --You did good, given what you're given."
"My life isn't getting any easier."
---"Listen Che, the rules were written before you were born. That holy hell of theirs is a self-replicating organism, in which its members darkest impulses are more or less under bureaucratic control. Where hate, avarice and other human cruelties are doled out as ammunition or medals. No one can stop it, no one should be tricked into thinking they should try. --Sorry."
"You mean drugged, seduced or blackmailed into trying?"
---"You still have a lot of unfocused rage don't you?"
"Excuse me?"
---"Hey I'm just the messenger here. I'm not blowing smoke in your direction, putting stuff in your coffee."

"I only feel real when I'm with you."
---"You always laugh at my jokes--you 'get' me."
"Darling."
---"Sweetheart."
(they kiss)

"He's too busy deceiving himself to think about deceiving you."

"'The one true woman'..."
---"As in: 'She's 'the one true woman'? or Where is 'the one true woman'? or On a scale-of-one-to-ten compared to 'the one true woman'...?"
"I'm picturing more of a super-heroine."
---"Like Lara Croft? --That's cool. But by 'true' do you mean loyal and faithful or authentic and real?"
"I don't think faithfulness is much of a super-power."
---"But authenticity is?"
"Like a touchstone. Her verisimilitude exposes the hypocrisy, secrets and lies of everyone and everything that comes near her."
---"Couldn't loyalty and faithfulness wielded by one of your super-heroes likewise be super-charged? Exposing the duplicity and plotting etc., etc.?"
...
---If there's a 'one true woman' somewhere on earth would there also be a 'one true man'?"
"Yeah but their destiny, their fate is that they're never to meet."
---"Better yet they meet all the time. They work in adjoining cubicles in the same office; collaborate on projects; have lunch together everyday. They even like some of the same music and tv shows but for some reason or another are blind to the other's singular trueness."
"Until a bag lady tricks 'the one true woman' into buying a ugly old ring from her..."
---"Could there also be a 'one true hermaphrodite'?"
"I'm thinking about 'one true' animals, insects, stones, trees, lakes, mountains and rivers."
---"Vacation resorts, casinos, restaurants, golf courses, museums and tanning salons?"

"Remember that guy who claims his neighbors and a secret army of others are shooting pesticide poppers at him, his family, car, pets, and house?"
---"Shooting?"
"He thinks they're propelled by CO2 or some other aerosol...He says he can't spend more then ten minutes in the bathroom before those poisons start coming in through the glass block window. Taking a bath or shower is a dangerous activity because that stuff makes him breathless, dizzy and disorientated."
---"Amazing. What will he think of next?"
"He takes his baths and showers with a fan running in the open doorway, which doesn't completely blow the fumes away, but it helps."
---"That guy should be in the OCD Hall of Fame."
"He says it makes him happy knowing some punk is 'on call'. That whenever he's taking a shit, clipping his toenails, or washing up, one punk or another has to stop whatever they're doing and hurry to make his life just a little more difficult. He wonders what they're being paid for their diligence, for their work ethic or for being on the front-lines in whatever war they're told they're waging. He thinks the connection between the fumes from outside and the fumes from the inside is more psychologically revealing of the people in charge then strategically sound."
---"That friend of yours sounds like fun."
"You want to meet him?"
---"NO! --Hell no."
...

"Other punks'll shoot their stuff when he stands at the kitchen window that looks out on the street in front and still others? throughout the night at his bedroom windows in the back of his house. He can't remember the last time he slept through the night."
---"Only in America huh?"
"You mean this sort of high-tech yet labor intensive harassment?"
---"No I mean only in America can I nutcase like him not be institutionalized and/or forcibly sedated."
"He once remarked if it wasn't for the greed of the AMA, he wouldn't be permitted to think at all. I didn't know what he meant until now."

"'What is your river like'? Is it wide, slow and broad? Is it fast and deep? Does it have many fish, mussels, reeds and grasses? Is its water light and sweet or thick and salty like soup?"
---"How should I know?"
"You live near a lake then?"
---"Nooo?"
"A pond?"
---"No."
...

"What's your shopping mall like? Does it have a Starbucks too?"

"Water is down; it finds the lowest places. Fire rises, flares up as it burns things down. --Doesn't that sound Taoist?"
---"I don't chop wood for fuel. I don't carry water from streams or wells. I don't depend upon stored root vegetables to survive the winter. .. All my tools are rusty and my knives are dull. -- I can barely tie my shoes.--Plus I hate words that end in 'ist'".
"Then again water falls from the sky and fire burns in hell below."
---"Or 'ism'--I can't stand words that end in 'ism' either."
"I think I prefer the images and buzz-phrases people glean from ancient religions and philosophies then the actual teachings. Especially made-in-America popularizations of Asian scriptures. ..There's more space created by words when their history and context are unknown or misconstrued. It's cosmic."
--"I thought it was lazy minds scanning self-help books."
"Too bad I was taught to be a Christian and didn't happen upon it out of curiosity like I did Voodoo and Buddhism. Christianity could've been fun--less of a boil that needs periodic lancing."
---"You had me going with that fire and water nonsense. Next time take it easy with the nutmeg, ok?"

(reads) "'God has never imagined ruling over Creation. He would work his will and make things with it, and when they came to life and ran off, that was fine with him. Nor did he much want to remember all that he made. He wanted innovation: this and only this excited and amused him. God was alone, he was always alone, and all stories about his companion are invention. One need only imagine what it was like to be alone. Would, say a human have found it any easier? One comes upon all kinds of thoughts when alone, and these thoughts of God became Creation.'"
---"No..no..no..no!"
"C'mon. Is a lone creator, a non-sovereign god, so difficult to picture?"
---"Billions of souls throughout history and hundreds of millions of living souls today proclaim otherwise."
"Yeah. 'The Greatest Show on Earth'."
---"Don't you mean, 'The Greatest Story Ever Told'?"
"No."

"Did you ever wonder what percentage of men-- say on any given Friday-- need other men to get them dates?"
---"Looking around here I'ld say about 75%."
"What's in it for the women who go on dates arranged by men?"
---"Carrie said you were a prude."
"I'm not a prude."
---"A misogynist then. --You are aware that now more women then anytime in history are free to explore their sexuality? That more women then ever are in leadership positions in business, in government and the military and the dating network you find difficult to comprehend has likewise grown and evolved to the point where there're women in charge? And coincidentally more then enough volunteer work to include women who need their security but don't care to be on call every night or even every week? --Wake up and smell the coffee."
"I'm not a misogynist; I'm a misanthropist. Too many exploring women won't do a thing without party authorization and those male and female associates skulking around: watching, controlling...insinuating."
---"Insinuating: la-de-da. So you're shy: get over yourself.--It's a wide-world orgy! On second thought your reluctance to enjoy yourself in the presence of others sounds kinda gay."
"Fuck you."
---"You wish. You take what they give you."

"And by 'pears' he meant...?" (smiles)
---"He meant pears: he wasn't coming onto me."
"I get confused when I hear attractive people talk about food."

"Did you find out what he's been doing?"
---"He said he's working on the relationship between organized crime and government. ... He's quantified factors shared by gangs and governments where a greater than chance correlation exists--I don't know if I have this right-- he's working on a formula that'll predict any department or program's involvement in organized corruption."
"Did you call his mother? You have her number?"
---"No."
"Why not?"
---"He might be onto something."
"With friends like you..."
---"He's been eating and bathing and watching tv."
"He never graduated from college!"
---"And you never took a final exam your frat didn't have the answers to beforehand."
"Hey! I told you that in confidence."
---"You told me that when you were hammered. Remember? That Friday after Melissa dumped you for that buzz-cut boiler-room dude with the pinkie ring."
"You mean the hedge-fund analyst with the Lexus, the apartment overlooking Michigan Avenue and the condo on the lake in New Buffalo?"
---"Is that how she described him? ... You poor sap."
"I'm happy she's happy."
---"Stop it."
"She followed her bliss..."
---"I'll have to kill you."
"Found her soulmate."
---"Seriously."

"When was the last time you 'stold a kiss'?"
---"Me? I've Master Card."
...

"Look at you: you can't imagine yourself as a thief. You don't mind if others see you as a loser, a drudge, a schmiel, a cuckold, contagious, or a waste of space..."
---"Cuckold?"
"--Nevermind...but a thief? --You? Never!"
---"Contagious?"
"--Long story. .. You're not one of those environmentally-correct conservation-conscious consumers are you?
---"I can't afford to be green."
"You really don't know what turns people on, do you? ... In America, the home of abundance and the exporter of freedom and advertising, every object displayed behind glass, on the shelves in a store's maze of aisles or flashing on our screens is desired..is designed with someone who hungers for it in mind. Someone who would snatch it in the blink of an eye if the highly evolved redundant systems that protect these things should fail. To never picture yourself stealing a little of this bliss when every shiny, bright and new little thing for sale around you is screaming buy me! take me! own me! and most everyone is hellbent on possessing some next new thing--is impossible--is pathological."
---"I'm lazy? ..I'm dull and unimaginative?...My father might have Asberger's?"
"There has to be a reason you're unable to fully engage with your neighbors and their joy over America's consuming paradise."
---(makes a show of taking a few slow deep breaths) "Look, I'm stealing air right now!"
"That's just sad."

"Is he always 'on' like that?"

"Claire's usual reaction to stress is depression."
---"Isn't that how it goes: overwhelmed, people shut down?"
"I get hungry and forget how to talk."
---"You stoke up; she damps down."
"And clam up."
---"My Dad shouts when he's stressed."
"My sister gossips about celebrities and tells stories, but never about what's bothering her."
---"In college I had a roomate who'ld gamble like crazy before exams and while waiting for the results. I don't think he graduated ."
"I knew this woman who used sky-diving as foreplay. I got tired of waiting for her in rural airport parking lots and screwing in cars."
---"You never jumped with her?"
"I was told it's not a good idea to eat while free-falling."

"Who stands between you and them?"
---"No one but dead presidents."

"Vanquish him! Vanquish him!"

"More often than not he'll stop and turn around when he hears someone whistle."
---"How about kazoos?"
"She ignores whistles. She sometimes reacts to car horns but never truck horns."
---"I wonder how she feels about trumpet and saxophone players?"

"I should've been dead years ago."
---"Divine intervention?"
"Maybe. Or maybe I simply zigged instead of zagged."
---"You were smoking pot back then?"
"No. no. ...For years I kept on remembering this one summer during which I worked harder then ever before or since on this monster task. ... And slowly over time I've realized had I been successful I would've been lead to a very different world and a guaranteed early exit."
---"How could you know that?"
"Hindsite is 20/20. I just do."
---"Ok, let's say you survived past your time. You cheated death; you outfoxed fate. What are you doing with your double-golden overtime that you couldn't have done during a sweet short life?"
"That's it. I'm not sure. Although for example, lately for the first time In my life I've been experiencing what it feels like to be completely physically present in my body. Something I've never known before."
---"Good for you?"
"I've always been kind-of a floater, on a long tether. I guess it took my soul a number of years to grow into my body...I would've missed that and who knows how many other similar experiences had I took the low road."
---"You're saying you appreciate the extra time you've been given."
"It's more than that. I'm saying if I'm not that dead man who bungled an opportunity of a lifetime, albeit a short one, who am I? Who have I become? ... And more puzzling is it the passing of time that makes all the difference, alters us in ways no one, not even God can predict?"
---"Ok so you've been improvising all this time. Who knew? Who cares?"
"Isn't it strange how the stories of our lives are pale shadows of our experiences. ... That what's biographical is the graffiti of life?"
---"'Veni, vidi, vici.'"
"What?"
---"'I came, I saw, I conquered'. Or for players it's 'Vidi, Vici, Veni': "I saw, I conquered, I came'."