Overheard Starbuck

"When was the last time you 'stold a kiss'?"
---"Me? I've Master Card."
...

"Look at you: you can't imagine yourself as a thief. You don't mind if others see you as a loser, a drudge, a schmiel, a cuckold, contagious, or a waste of space..."
---"Cuckold?"
"--Nevermind...but a thief? --You? Never!"
---"Contagious?"
"--Long story. .. You're not one of those environmentally-correct conservation-conscious consumers are you?
---"I can't afford to be green."
"You really don't know what turns people on, do you? ... In America, the home of abundance and the exporter of freedom and advertising, every object displayed behind glass, on the shelves in a store's maze of aisles or flashing on our screens is desired..is designed with someone who hungers for it in mind. Someone who would snatch it in the blink of an eye if the highly evolved redundant systems that protect these things should fail. To never picture yourself stealing a little of this bliss when every shiny, bright and new little thing for sale around you is screaming buy me! take me! own me! and most everyone is hellbent on possessing some next new thing--is impossible--is pathological."
---"I'm lazy? ..I'm dull and unimaginative?...My father might have Asberger's?"
"There has to be a reason you're unable to fully engage with your neighbors and their joy over America's consuming paradise."
---(makes a show of taking a few slow deep breaths) "Look, I'm stealing air right now!"
"That's just sad."